A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
