Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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