she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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