There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
