you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Randomize
