it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
wow bdsm is so cute
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
