Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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