Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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