quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
