I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
