also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
