Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
