Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
