I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
