dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
