oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
