I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
