Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
