Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
