he shaved USA in his pubs
my sisters under your porch take her home
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
