mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
