apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
