at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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