Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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