The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
