Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
