Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize