Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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