Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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