Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Fuck appropriateness.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
