apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to make out with him forever
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
