...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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