So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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