we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
