Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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