I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
In America we eat man semen.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize