It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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