i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
