How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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