It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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