U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
