You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
