I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
