Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
