i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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