Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
