there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize