that's an acceptable place to lick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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