i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
