so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
