I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
