What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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