He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
