i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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