I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize