Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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