Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i believe in u and ur pee
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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