I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
