East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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