Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize